Nuff_Nang

Sunday, February 20, 2011

^Voice From The Bottom Of My Heart^


“In life, it is better to know and be disappointed, than to not know and always wonder.”


Journey of life is long. Like usual, we'll meet different people on the way. But the thing we couldn't regret or choose is our parents. We love them and they love us as well too. But no one know what happen in between. Father and mother quarrel, mother and son, mother and daughter but never between father and son or either with daughter.

Father will always forgive and understand their girl situation. Father always said, "Girl, you go out there, first thing, must take care of yourself, then focus study. Its useless if we get our cert then health is bad." But mother will said, "Girl, study come first. Must succeed, thus next time can earn more money, buy big car, big house." This is their differences.
But all I want now as I grow older, a not stressful job and a happy life for everyday. I will definitely satisfy.

Out-there, people always see mother very good, nice, warm-hearted and friendly person, but what they really know inside? So they do not have the right to judge me when they think mother is good and if I made her cry, is my fault. Sigh. Since I'm able to see the world, I learn to adapt with my family. Patience, tough skin and coward-feel need to be my side.

23 years passed, I've become numb, because I still wanted to protect their heart. Instead to protect them and achieve my wishes/demand, today I lied to them. Guilty to father, annoy to mother.

I choose to stand alone, be independent and let go my family lastly. This is my decision.

I love you, dad



When come to friends part, I start to realize, as long as we have heart to mend or maintain it, it will success.

"If there's a will, there will be a way."

I wish I could have a friend know how read my mind and feeling. All I want just be happy everyday. I will accept any teasing, sarcastic, anger or sad face, because I believe I was like that before and I should be more understanding when we come to this kind of stage. I don't like to hear, I will just say yes, yes, yes. and walk away.

"I do not have to really know how to be caution with my words when I'm with others but you, I do! I hope you do too. You're the one who are standing together with me now."


What about our love life?
As complicated as these roads. Who would say horoscope affect a relationship? I would put a "yay" there. Means yes. I'd experienced it myself. I can't deny it. But I realize, the more I believe it, the more worst it turn out to me.

For a man, they would not sacrifice everything for a woman when we give insane order, " Kenot go out with your friends!!" Haha.. Which one will listen to you? No one! But for a woman, they would sacrifice everything for a man when a man give an insane demand. " Scratch my back please!" Of course this is not insane la. Haha.. Oops, I should categories 'em as UNREASONABLE!!

Every woman's ideal man is, capable, loyal, know how to do house chores and always "sexy", lol. Well, it's true. How about when we come over a stingy boyfriend? We never complain to him when we spend something or more times of expensive number on them, but when we spoil their things once or twice, they'll put sentence on us. " I forbid you touch, hold, press, feel my ** ever"

Should I have faith on him that he will take care of me for the rest of my life? Though he hurts me so many times, but I still back to him. The reasons..? I love him? Or I have not yet found someone better than him? God will arrange all this, not my worry's boundary, I guess. =)


I wish everyday of my life will be no burden, no heart-knot like kids. Happy-go-lucky!



Like one of my friend said, " moment will fade away as time past, but memories will always present in our heart, no matter it's sweet or bitter."



But I prefer my the other two friends said, " We only live once, we should try everything."





2 comments:

Anonymous said...

everything will be fine :)

Lilian Cheah said...

thx dear.. huhu